Wednesday, February 09, 2005

What a SuperBowl party

I had to hurt a child Sunday night.

Pretty scary statement, isn’t it? Especially coming from a sex offender, when you can picture all sorts of things that could be possible about that statement.

So, what did I do that was so wrong? What could have possibly been so bad that I had a 10-year-old girl crying and my wife having to comfort her? How could my life have gotten so screwed up?

What did I do? I had to ignore her. I had to pretend that she wasn’t there. I had to sit on the other side of the room and do nothing. Yeah, how could my life have gotten so screwed up.

Some background to explain. Denise’s mother Debbie is part of the family, she's the stepsister of my wife’s sister-in-law Tamara, so we tend to cross paths at times. She went through some hard times several years ago and two of her kids wound up actually living with Tamara and Randy for a while. Was quite a bit to be dumped on them all of a sudden, so my wife and I would take the girls for a few hours sometimes so they could have a break.

Well, in the process Denise became very attached to her "Uncle". It should have been expected, every time she saw us we were taking them out to do something fun and having a good time. She was at that very impressionable age and just enjoyed it so much because we made her feel special. Once she was living back with her mother we would still see her at times and it was clear that I was still her favorite uncle.

So, here’s the problem. Debbie is the one who told the rest of the family about the fact that I was included in the Megan’s Law database. Don’t know just how it came about, don’t really care at the moment, it just happened. In the long run it’s probably a good thing it came out, but the jury is still out in some ways.

We were at a SuperBowl party at Randy and Tamara’s and Debbie and the kids showed up. What the hell was I supposed to do. It’s been less than a week since everything came out in the open, and I don’t have a clue how Debbie is going to react to anything I do. I was frozen, afraid to do anything for fear that it would now be taken the wrong way. I couldn’t be myself, but I couldn’t be anybody else either and it was an extremely uncomfortable situation. Fortunately the game was pretty much over by the time they got there, and once it was done the party was breaking up, so my wife and I took the opportunity to pack our things up and leave.

I took some stuff out to the car and as I walked back in I saw my wife standing there holding Denise, and she was crying. I had a few suspicions as to what the problem was, but there was no way that I was going to go into it there. I went back into the house, got the rest of our things, said goodbye to everyone (including Denise, who was now back in the house) and left. Once we were in the car I asked my wife what was going on and why Denise, was crying. She told me that she was upset because her uncle was ignoring her.

That hurt. I never want to hurt a child, but I didn’t have a choice. How is her mother going to react? How might something I do be taken? And what would the reaction of others be based on the stories that are told?

I have no choice anymore. The publication of the Megan’s Law database has left me in a position where I have to build walls that are going to hurt some people. This was a law that is supposed to protect, but all it’s done around me so far is hurt people. Sounds like a great idea so far.

(Obviously names have been changed to protect those I don't want to hurt)

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That would kill me, seeing a lil kid crying like that. I feel for you. I'm glad you were able to keep safe, though. Well done! Good boundaries.

A.

10:50 PM  
Blogger Lilo said...

"This was a law that is supposed to protect, but all it’s done around me so far is hurt people."

Are you nuts?? If you are on the database- then it is YOU that has hurt someone, the law just protects the rest of us from scum such as yourself.
I'd rather a child have to weep a bit than be anywhere near someone as demented as yourself. Maybe you should have be so "caring" about how others feel before you committed the crime that put you on the list.

10:10 AM  

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